Competition Results

I know that the wait has been tense for some of you, so I’ll cut to the chase. I spent the weekend deliberating over the entries and it was a tough choice. Well done to everybody that entered, I hope you’ve had as much fun with this as I have. I really mean that, it’s been a blast. I did consider some ‘worthy contenders’ prizes, but decided that everyone was a worthy contender!

Please welcome:

Operative Phalanx on recon duty for Dennis.

Operative Phalanx on recon duty for Dennis.



Subject 00-38, the sole survivor of the top-secret Phalanx Project (from which he derives his name), is… unique.  Seeking to create an army of super clones, a multi-national scientific corporation created Project Phalanx in Puerto Rico.

The project started the technological experimentation with sheep due to their relative ease in cloning, but the experiments were altogether too successful.  After a bloody debacle involving a mutant sheep uprising, the Illuminati, and an abortive attempt to create a time machine, the project was put to an end.  The few surviving sheep were transported to Gitmo for interrogation as to their methods, and dissection.

One by one, the sheep succumbed to the brutal “enhanced interrogation techniques” used by their captors, and confessed.  These unfortunate comrades of the self-dubbed “Phalanx” were last seen as sheperds’ pies and stews served to the the Gitmo gaolers.

Eventually, Phalanx was the only remaining sheep.  He had decided not to give the satisfaction of breaking to his captors, and the fates of his fellows only strengthened his conviction not to give in.

This was the darkest hour of the night for Phalanx, during which he considered sharpening his hooves and slitting his throat.  However, he had not been forgotten by the outside world.  Protests were springing up against the treatment of the Guantanamo detainees, and the atmosphere of the prison was charged with tension… and electrocutions.

It was now when Agent Xhalax of the —- —– decided to make her move.  She sprung Phalanx from Gitmo through the cunning use of three toothpicks, —— —-, a magnifying glass, duct tape, lemon juice, —– —– – ———–, three dowels, — — ———, and half a litre of ———– —-. [censored for the welfare of the public good]

Soon after, the grateful Phalanx was brought into the home of Herr Thorpe, where he met one of his heroes – Dennis, mastermind of the brilliant —— ———— — —- scheme.  He pledged himself to the Mechanical Hamster, and now is in a position to become of of Dennis’ most fervent devotees and trusted lieutenants during the Great Plan and the inevitable takeover.

Well done to Mossy Toes/ Tomas, I shall be contacting you directly to organise the prizes. Thanks again to everyone who entered, I believe the other tales will be used as cover stories and aliases for Phalanx during his nefarious duties for Dennis.

And please remember: a weblog is for life not just for competitions. Thank you for your support.

Published in: on May 5, 2009 at 9:43 am  Comments (7)  

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Congrats to the winner and i’ve found another blog to stalk and stay up late at night clicking refresh over and over and over and…


    Anyways having just finished reading Tales of Heresy, I have to say congrats for Call of the Lion, tis a great short story that finally pitches Astartes against an enemy we can all relate to while at the same time setting some context Astelan and his apparent “fall” from grace. Can’t wait to see which direction this is taken in future works!


  2. Darn it. I didn’t win. But well done anyway Mossy.


  3. Many thanks! I winced after I posted it originally, because I noticed a minor error or three that I hadn’t edited out, but I’m glad that they didn’t hurt my chances too much!

    I suppose that I may have cheated with my entry’s wordcount – it’s a hundred words “too many” – but still, thanks!

    These books are even more wonderful because of the fact that I’ve only read the Last Chancers books before this, but have been looking for more of Gav’s books. I swear by Dennis that they won’t be on Ebay any time soon*!

    (*In human standards. Not “soon” in the terms of the C’tan or something. Nonetheless, I shall treasure these books)


    • Well done to Mossy/Tomas/Lichen-covered Appendages!


      • Tomas Appendages? A rather odd name… 😉


  4. LOL!

    Well done to Mossy toes for winning. And it’s good to know exactly who it was that I rescued.


  5. Well the most crazy of us won.

    Well done.


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